This is part of a writing exercise dictated by this list. It may benefit you to read it if you seek to know me (or merely someone) better; it may benefit me in the selfsame way. And if knowledge of others is your goal, seek out Anna, whose list prompted mine, and Kimi, whom Anna credits for said list. Apologies for the lateness — yesterday was crazy.
How do you imagine yourself 10 years from now?
7 July, 9:53 p.m. Time slips, doesn’t it? I’m almost 33. Jesus’ age when, you know…
I’m sitting here by the window, sipping my third Chai of the day. I still miss the coffee from time to time, but ___’s right, I am looking better than ever. The scale this morning actually said 199. I felt like I was on sale. Half-off, as it were.
I’m looking forward to this coming semester. I’ve always looked forward to autumn, but this year makes me feel like I’ve finally made it, you know? They’re finally letting me try the Bioshock course. I’ve already heard back from a few students about Atlas Shrugged. Questions, comments. It never ceases to amaze me that there are kids who aren’t like I was — procrastinating, holding off until the end of the summer to start. Granted, it’s “suggested” reading; they’ll have time in the beginning of the semester to play catch-up to the early birds before our first exam. Still, can’t say I didn’t warn them.
Of course, there are more pressing matters on my mind. This second novel is coming along fairly well, but I still don’t even have a title for it. After Freedom… everything seems like so much more work; at least there I had half the material handed to me on a silver platter. Writing never ceases to be difficult, even though I love it. I think too much. I know King says to just get the draft out and then worry about revisions, but imperfect passages make my skin crawl. I just keep fighting the urge to reread and rewrite. That comes later, Adam.
The walks are refreshing. I never really realized just how much good living up in the northwest would do me. Sure, I’d been pining for years — since I was sixteen, or thereabouts — but those dreams were founded on less than a week’s experience and lacked proper considerations. I got really lucky that the University was able to take me onboard. The economy hasn’t improved much over the years and I pray every day to remind God how thankful I am it all worked out.
Everything — the job, the house, my beautiful wife — it’s all so much better than I ever could have dreamed it would be even five, ten years ago. I wonder, now and then, whether things could have gone differently. Worse, perhaps. If I hadn’t pulled myself together, and finally made something of myself. If I hadn’t taken the initiative. I’d never have met ____. I’d never have published ____. I’d be living in a trailer park. My parents might have been too.
I just shivered a little at the thought. God, thanks again. However this life of mine turns out, one thing is certain: You. Today, in a decade, in three, You’re the constant, without which I am nothing at all.